Officially a Heroin Addict

 I call myself a recovering addict of Heroin because before it was all over, that's the only drug I was doing. I'd wake up, call Jonathan, and there we would go, assuming one of us had money. If not we'd have to scheme to figure out how to get it. Many times I'd just ask for it and make up a reason I needed it and no one knew the difference. I never stole for my money. Well, except the one time, it was Christmas and Kenny and I were at my Dad's for the first time for a holiday (this is the same December I really got hooked on the pills) and I went to the bathroom in my Dad's room and my stepmom's jewelry was just laying there. I just took one ring. A ring I didn't think she wore. I wasn't thinking, I was an addict at this time and that is ALL I was. The fact that I knew right from wrong didn't matter, that I was raised WAY better than that didn't matter, if I hurt my stepmom, it didn't matter. I was an ADDICT. Addicts don't think like you and I as regular people. The ONLY thing on their mind, is locking in their next high, PERIOD. Remember that if you're dealing with an addict. And remember this. This is one of the MOST important messages I want everyone to know. An addict's actions have NOTHING to do with how much they do or don't love someone. They're INCAPABLE of rationalization because that part of their brain has been hijacked. Mine got hijacked by opiates and eventually heroin. Somehow my conscious got the best of me and 3 days later I called my Dad and told him. I told him I had pawned it. So he came down and we went and got it back. You wanna talk about ashamed of myself? Oh my was I ever. I had let my Daddy down. My Dad had been all I had my whole life and he had instilled values and morals in me and here we were going to get a ring I sole from HIS house, essentially from him because he paid 2k for it, and I couldn't hold my head any lower or I'd be in the dirt. I felt like the biggest POS there is. But, at least I did the right thing and told him. So to answer the question where did the heroin come from...it actually came much later than this particular time.

It happened one day, in 2014, when Kenny and I were living with my sister. We were desperately looking for pills with no luck. He had called a friend, lets call him "Dave" because I don't want any back lash to this person. But Dave called back and said, "Man I can't get any pills but I can get bags (which meant heroin) if you will give me a ride." Kenny looked at me and had a do you really wanna go there look on his face and I swiftly said yes. I told him to get anything I didn't care. I was dope sick and I'd have done just about anything at that point. So we pick up Dave and head out and get our dope and come back to my sisters. We all went in our room and Dave shot us all up (with the same needle) since it was our first time. Later I found out it wasn't Kenny's first time but he pretended it was. That first time wasn't the best, like a lot of people's stories say, but it surely did the trick. I vividly remember the best. IT was called "Passion" which was stamped on the outside of the bag. It was a sunny day and I was driving my mom's car because I had wrecked my "new" car. I had to go down to a place I did not wanna go but hey, like I said, I'd do anything. So I sit for a bit and Jonathan comes back to the car. We had his friend with us. He handed us each our 2 or 3 bags. I did that shot and a huge, warm, tingly feeling started in my stomach and overcame me...THEN I was hooked. It was all over from that moment. I was officially a "heroin addict".